I didn't shave. On purpose
Send us your Text From Last Night!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.