I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
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I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Wow word travels fast.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her