After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.