C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
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drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
R you on birth control?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Do you still have your period?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
Terrible brother advice.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?