I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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