what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
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since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes