I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you win again, gameday.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.