we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
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I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.