First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel