If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???