she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now