Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy