Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.