Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
