Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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