I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
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i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
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he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
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He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.