Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Send us your Text From Last Night!
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"