Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.