i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Send us your Text From Last Night!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight