He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."