It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does every cop we meet know your name?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk