So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He did a backflip because drugs