I wannas sexs uuuuu
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
