well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Send us your Text From Last Night!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.