Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.