Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
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you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again