If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Send us your Text From Last Night!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.