i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Dating After Heartbreak
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful