She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?