just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.