when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with