He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
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Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me