I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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