check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
