You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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