I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...