my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.