Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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