Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
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Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin