No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
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The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"