The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
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thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase