At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis