Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
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He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun