It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters