I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
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u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man