thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dating After Heartbreak
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.