we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dating After Heartbreak
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.