the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney