Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
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There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"