Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You're like the curious george of whores