Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.