??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Good Food, Cheap Beer, and Hot Singles: the Top 13 Cities for Millennials