He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
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Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
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going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?