They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
