Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
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Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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