Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
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I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them