now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...