I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My ATM looks so different sober.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics