how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.