I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.