No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
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She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
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it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.