i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
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I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...