question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Also, beer. Big fan.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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