His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident