I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it