Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
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what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
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at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
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I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night