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    (305): View more from Florida

    Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

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    Replies (41) Good night (814) Bad night (4331) Order T-Shirt
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    (212): View more from New York

    I'm drive I can fine osifer

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    Replies (28) Good night (1293) Bad night (2040) Order T-Shirt
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    (905): View more from Toronto

    I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it

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    Replies (18) Good night (783) Bad night (2522) Order T-Shirt
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    (717): View more from Pennsylvania

    I am in a vortex of obligation.

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    Replies (3) Good night (559) Bad night (1476) Order T-Shirt
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    (317): View more from Indiana

    Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.

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    Replies (10) Good night (1842) Bad night (685) Order T-Shirt
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    (612): View more from Minnesota

    you guys were way drunker than both of me

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    Replies (11) Good night (9247) Bad night (859) Order T-Shirt
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    (310): View more from California

    Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?

    (770): View more from Georgia

    b/c u have herpes

    (310): View more from California

    No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.

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    Replies (19) Good night (907) Bad night (5387)
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    (301): View more from Maryland

    Define "chronic" masturbator.

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    Replies (14) Good night (1293) Bad night (1414) Order T-Shirt
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    (201): View more from New Jersey

    now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone

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    Replies (19) Good night (543) Bad night (3987) Order T-Shirt
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    (913): View more from Kansas

    I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.

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    Replies (68) Good night (2060) Bad night (11403) Order T-Shirt
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    (504): View more from Louisiana

    i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.

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    Replies (9) Good night (2163) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
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    (302): View more from Delaware

    Who goes to Church hungover

    (717): View more from Pennsylvania

    Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk

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    Replies (42) Good night (14606) Bad night (1222)
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    (231): View more from Michigan

    i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.

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    Replies (1) Good night (849) Bad night (1216) Order T-Shirt
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    (909): View more from California

    I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.

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    Replies (14) Good night (4483) Bad night (522)
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    (909): View more from California

    I just didn't expect you to be so naked....

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    Replies (7) Good night (3318) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
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  • (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://t.co/sQOeFAaf
  • (270): him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
  • (627): The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
  • (402): Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
  • (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
  • (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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