I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on