You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
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Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
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thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
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you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.