Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even