that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
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may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
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The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.