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So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
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