So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We need to rekindle our bromance
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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