It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
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Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.