i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
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She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
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Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
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just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you