Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate