I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
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he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
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He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.