I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.