THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you