I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Hippo gnu deer
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.