FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Send us your Text From Last Night!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.