my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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