she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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