Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka