oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize